Outrageous Clothes that I will never wear

    FASHION - Call it my biggest fashion industry pet peeve... but what is with all the clothes that, admittedly, none of us would ever wear in public. Or in private for that matter.

    In the olden days of fashion design there was this thing called the avant garde, which was meant to represent anything that was so outrageous it was... controversial.

    The term is also used in art history, to describe artists like Jackson Pollock or Andy Warhol who did something nobody else had ever done before.

    Except when you look at the clothes shown here, you realize, yes, that's probably been done before. Its not very... experimental. Its like they're trying to be avant garde, but really they don't have a clue what they are doing. (I've tried to show a variety of different faux avant garde styles here, so you get a broad idea of the kind of bullshit nonsense these designers are pushing.)

    I admit some of the clothes does look pretty kewl, and I could see wearing some of them to a gothic club... but its difficult to imagine where I might wear any of the other pretentious avant garde crap they're pushing.

    I don't know why the fashion magazines even bother to show these photos any more. Is it like what I am doing? Making fun of it? No, they show them, talk about the designers and are totally serious about it. Its like they haven't clued in to the simple fact that:

    AVANT GARDE IS DEAD.

    Even retired fashion designer Pierre Cardin says Haute Couture is dead. Haute couture is basically just another word for avant garde.

    Let's imagine for a moment if someone actually wore some of these things in public...

    You'd have to get used to the idea of people staring at you all the time. You'd just look like a complete freak (more so than the goths, punks and emos look like freaks).

    You'd also would have to have the hot sexy body to make it work. You'd definitely have to be female... a guy would never wear this stuff.

    Its also not very practical. Its too cold for the winter, too hot for the summer, you can't wear a jacket over top of it and if it rains your clothes will get ruined.

    In other words... nobody in their right mind would wear these clothes in public... unless they're eccentric or outright wacko.

    You will never find a store that sells this avant garde crap either. Its not wearable or sell-able. It makes me wonder what the designers do with it after they're done on the catwalk... stick them in storage? Rip them apart and reuse them? Give them away as gifts?

    I can just imagine the clothes being regifted from person to person until finally someone either recycles the material or trashes it completely.

    I realize what the designers are doing of course. They're trying to make a name for themselves by doing something remotely outrageous. If they can get their name out there as a fashion brand... then they can start charging a lot more $$$ for their regular clothes lines. In other words... they're self-indulgent greedy little pricks... the same kind of pricks (and yes, they're mostly male) that only hire anorexic girls on the runway and are probably screwing the models (or snorting coke with them) behind the scenes.

    After all when you make it big in the fashion industry, what else is there to do but f*ck around and snort cocaine? Like Kate Moss below.